What brought you to Thrive?
My [then] 14 month old had just recovered from his second bought of a stomach bug in two months. As a new mom I had never felt so many mixed emotions that I questioned if my son would be better off with someone who could take care of him and not be afraid when he didn’t feel well. Being a mom brings on anxiety in itself but being afraid to care for someone you love with all of your heart can expose the worst depression. I found Thrive while combing the internet in the middle of the night feeling anxious and alone.
So how did you get on with doing Thrive?
My husband and I agreed that we would spend the money to work through the book with a consultant. I do not always retain words well so I knew I wanted to experience this journey with someone who could talk me through it. I Google searched Thrive consultants and there was something about Fiona that stuck out to me in the list of consultants. Instantly I knew she was the “one”. I contacted Fiona and within a couple of days of receiving my book in the mail we had our first Skype appointment.
What did you get out of going through the Programme?
This is simple. I am not a bad mom. I opened the first page to this book about to completely give up on motherhood. I believed my son was better off being with a complete stranger because at least they were able to care for him when he was ill. Thrive taught me that my fear was crippling my way I viewed my ability to care for my child but it did not have to anymore. With each chapter I started viewing my anxiety and fear as something I could alter along with altering my perception of myself as a mother. After completing the programme I cannot only say my fear of someone being ill has greatly decreased but my positive perception of myself as a mom has greatly increased!
Was there a core thing within the course that stood out for you?
The one thing that stood out to me is the fear emetophobes have is solely our way of thinking. I always thought my fear was something I was born with and could never change. But Thrive introduces the idea that all things in life can be altered if your set you mind to it, grab your thinking and stay positive. Initially I hoped Thrive would help me to not be so scared of someone being ill but Thrive taught me so much more. Thrive taught me that every aspect of my life can be looked at differently and how I view each individual situation, good or bad, is completely in the way I think.
Did you enjoy the experience? Did the consultant help?
The experience was trying and rewarding each day. There were moments I did not feel like the programme was working and then all of a sudden the sentence I needed to hear was written next. My consultant was amazing. I would recommend Fiona Brown to anyone! She was patient, she accepted my setbacks and helped me through them, and she focused on my individual journey instead of the general journey of all emetophobes. She opened my eyes and helped me understand parts of the books I was not fully grasping on my own and also gave me ways to look at my life in ways no one else ever has.
What surprised you?
I instantly knew the book was relatable to my life when I read the front page testimonies and there was a woman who wrote about how Thrive helped her. She was my age, her child was the same age as my son and everything she wrote about feeling inadequate as a mother was exactly how I was feeling at that very moment. Throughout the book I was surprised that the characteristics that most emetophobes have were everything, anyone who knows me well, would use to describe me. I never realized my need for control, my black and white vision and my strive towards perfectionism all was related to my fear.
Does The Thrive Programme work?
Absolutely! The Thrive Programme works if you work at it and understand that overcoming your fear is always a ongoing process. Do not expect to work read through the book and be cured. There are moments I flip back through the pages to remind myself of the lessons. I will not say that I was cured of all my anxiety and fears but I now live life each day to the fullest instead of worrying about the things I cannot control tomorrow. Thrive allowed me to live life again.
How would you say your life has changed going through the course?
Thrive helped me live each day. I learned to not look beyond tomorrow and be thankful for I had the strength to endure today. I used to worry every second of every day that my son would be ill. If my phone rang I was afraid it was daycare saying he was not feeling well. If he coughed in the middle of the night I was afraid he was going to be ill. If he did not eat his entire supper mean he was ill. Now, I live each day without worrying today will be the day he is ill again. Thrive gave me that.
To live life day by day. Each day that I go to bed thankful for that day and finding the positive aspects of that day is a day I feel accomplished and one step closer to being cured.